Blurted…

I’m at the turning point in my life. Whether it is for better or worse, I don’t know. At this point, all I can think about is looking forward and live on with my life, and along the way, find myself and be better.

Ever had that feeling when, in whatever you do, it just doesn’t feel right or turned out right? Not only it effects you, but it effects others who are close to you. Action speaks louder than words. But sometimes words can find a different meaning and hurt a lot more. Words that people say are sometimes spoken without thinking, maybe because they are usually the spontaneous type. Or maybe they were rushing into conclusions. Whatever it is, it hurts.

Not to say that they are bad persons. They are liked, cared and loved by their friends. But their choices of words at the spur of the moment can sometimes be really bad, or misinterpreted by others.

Same thing happened to me. I have said many things that are blurted out without thinking. At times, the words I said are already at the edge of my tongue and when I want to say it, it just slipped…without giving it a thought.

It’s nothing bad. I don’t say bad words to people. I hardly utter any of those bad words to people or best friends. The word I’m talking about here are those that are misinterpreted. I say one thing, that can have a meaning for another. I should have said direct words like a rock is a rock, instead of a rock is a slab of stone.

My best friend got my message differently, which is obviously my mistake because I wasn’t direct with her. And for that, she wouldn’t pick up my calls and ignored me. Following that, perhaps my action played some sort of a role in making her THAT angry, and got me feeling extremely miserable after that. Whatever it is, I’m sorry. I should have been more direct, especially with you. Being honest with you means also being true to myself. I know that. And I’ll always be your Will…

I am also seeking to mend some missing pieces in my life. I realised that I am missing “me”. I am not the same as I used to be. I don’t know how exactly, but my earlier words stated that it is either for better or for worse. I need some time to search and research myself again. I am missing someone so bad right now. I guess that feeling is starting to sink in. But what is done, is done…

Footnote: A message to my other best friend, hang in there and be strong. I know you can get through this. Things be get better for you, InsyaAllah. You know we will always be there for you, I know I will…from now on.