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"I write what I think.
But, sometimes our feelings is difficult
to be disclosed with words".

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Saturday, October 17, 2009

the pain..

I realize love someone can make me much more pain than in hating someone...serious....

personally i am not very experiences in relationship.my experience is not gain through my self, it's gain by looking the people beside me. so,while the process of life, i realize when your relationship is over and break out due to fight and created hate in each other actually is less suffering than while when you fall in love with someone and there is no rejection of acceptance and filled with lots of uncertainty and mix feeling within each other.

you can really say that you love her when you can do it through body language and the thing you do for her to project your love towards her.

well, i never really understand why i don't have the guts to express my self with words that i always want to say to her. every time i want to say something, it can't seem to get out of my mouth. maybe there is fear within me with all those uncertainty that i fear when i say it out. all those time together with her will be the past and there is no more in the future. what a selfish act to be in the comfort zone. so i stay in the zone waiting for the day to come which will either turn bad or great, which i already have mental prepare for both. no matter what is the result, i will never regret waiting because there are so many night i sit there wondering what is life actually about.

well, life to me is to love. when i am not in love, i have no direction of where i wanted to go. love is the only motivation that keep me alive till today. yes, it is a fool to think this way.

there have people tell me that if you can't take care of yourself, how do you expect you take care of others. same as if you can't love yourself, how you love someone else....

well, i do love. if without love, this life will be meaningless. i always follow my heart on what i want to do but sometimes my heart is so confuse and can't think straight and screw up things.

in loving her, i never mind to do thing for her. i uses my pure heart to her and do everything for her. i never expected thing return. the only return i hope to get is to see her happy. what a shallow person i am....

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